LORD, YOUR PEOPLE PERISH FOR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

I fell asleep with the television on, and woke in the night to the voice of Jeremy Kyle [a British talk show host/agony uncle]. In my drowsy state, I realised he was talking to a not "uncommon" guest. A young single mum in a relationship with a cheating, alcoholic irresponsible father. As the story unfolded, I could tell he was trying to get the young lady to see the picture as it really was. She narrated that her partner/baby father had;
1] Cheated on her before she got pregnant, with pics of a naked female on his laptop to prove it.

2] Was an alcoholic, drinking up to 25 pints of beer at one sitting.
3] Cheated on her while she was pregnant.
4] Was too drunk to even attend the birth.

5] Had only given her money once since the babies birth.
6] Was still drinking after the birth and on one occasion had been drunk during a visit with the baby.

This sounded disastrous by all accounts, but what was incredible, was the difficulty the host Jeremy had, in making her see that this was an untenable situation. She claimed to have split up with her partner 3 months earlier, but had slept with him as recently as the previous 3 weeks. She had called the show to get help for him and enable him be a good father. But as Jeremy pointed out, she had enough warning before she even got pregnant, with the cheating and drinking. His subsequent failure to control his drinking after the birth, did not bode well either. She claimed that he had stopped drinking for a while, [without any help or support] but had gone back to his old ways.

It seemed futile trying to explain that his behaviour was quite detrimental to her child, and as a responsible parent, she should set the ground rules and insist her partner seeks help for his alcoholism and demonstrated commitment to change, before she allowed him have care and access to their child. The young man in question came onto the show and immediately denied that he drank that much, or that he had contributed only once to the babies upkeep. He claimed to have lost his job soon after the birth, surprise, surprise !

At this point, I could no longer watch and switched off the telly. As someone who has watched a fair few "self-help shows", this was a familiar theme, but this time I didn't turn away in disgust, but in dismay and exasperation about the state of affairs. It behoves belief that anyone would choose to live like this, why would they value themselves so little as to put up with this kind of behaviour. How did they get into such a state and what was the solution, I asked God. As I pondered, it came to me, that these situations had arisen because the devil had been let loose in the world [Rev 12:12 ] and the people did not know God [Jer 9:3 ]

I know it makes good TV to see people wash their dirty linen, [real and contrived] on the airwaves, and maybe hosts like Jeremy Kyle are really altruistic and desire to help [while getting the megabucks]. But it just doesn't seem like a few hours of counselling after the show are going to solve such deep-rooted problems. As I began telling God this wasn't my problem and I didn't have the solution, He pointed out to me that these are still His beloved children and He wants to help them. He told me I didn't have to find the solution, He had; the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ was the solution [1st John 5:11-12]

We can try all kinds of intervention, counselling, social engineering etc, but these won't work until the people know Christ. I thought about trying to reach out to all the disenfranchised and downtrodden people that exist in our world today, and the magnitude of our task seemed overwhelming. It really brought home the scripture, "the harvest is plentiful but the labourers are few" [Mt 9:37 ]. So I pray for more labourers, and for those of us who do know God, to become more effective in reaching out to the lost sheep. For us to actually desire to help the "lost", rather than sit in self-righteous judgement of them [which I've been guilty of in the past too].

The words of a Diana Ross song inspire me, "reach out and touch somebodies hand, make this world a better place if you can". This is our great commission, to show love and care to everyone we come in contact with [Luke 10:27, 1st Jn 3:17-18]. If the secular world can respond and empathise with the sentiments expressed in that song, [It was nos 1 in the charts for a long time] then we as Christians should be compelled to act in love to one another, and bring in addition the redeeming knowledge of Jesus Christ.

As the title of this piece says, "my people perish for lack of knowledge" [Pr 29:18]. Let us that have the "knowledge" pray for the increased ability and desire to share it with others, so that none may be lost. Its an onerous task I know, but if all of us who profess to be Christians, reached out to help someone in need, then this world would indeed be a better place.

FRIENDS & FAMILY

'Friends and family', this has become a very popular catchphrase recently. Even the phone companies have picked up on it, with their ever popular 'Friends and Family discount'. But who exactly are friends and family??? I say God chooses our biological families and our friends are the families we choose for ourselves. Thus I'm often heard to remark, "we can choose our friends, but we can't choose our families". An aunt of mine qualified it further saying; "we choose the members of our families we want to be close to."

I'm sure most people can relate to this sentiment and if you can't, pleeeeeeeeeeeease I'd love to meet your family, honestly!!! Do you ever wonder why it's so hard to get on with some members of your own family be it siblings, parents, aunts, uncles or cousins??? Do you ever question the saying, "blood is thicker than water"??? If you do, then welcome to my world. I firmly believe God placed us in our families for a reason. So that we have to learn to love that "difficult" family member regardless...!

It's often easier to relate to our friends, which is not surprising considering we picked them ourselves, and are thus likely to share similar interests, thinking patterns, common values and a sense of humour. Friends stick with you through thick and thin when sometimes your biological family doesn't. It's amazing when you consider that you've shared a womb, parents and grown up in the same environment as your siblings but may find it impossible to get on with them in later life.

The cohesive bonds of family are sometimes irrevocably shattered by quarrels, feuds, envy, deceit and in some cases, even murder. [Remember Cain and Abel, Esau and Jacob, Gen 4:8-9, 27:34-36,  41.] As I was growing up I often thought the envy and disunity in families was as a result of polygamy, with the attendant problems of numerous children and unfair distribution of resources. Later as I observed relationships within monogamous families, I thought it may be due to the preferential treatment of one child over the others, particularly when in the earlier half of the 20th century some African families could only afford to educate one child. This engendered jealousy in the other children who felt deprived and denied...

Now I observe families where all the children have had a university education,  all are professionals and reasonably comfortable, but there is STILL envy and jealousy within!!! I wondered why, AND then it finally came to me one day. Cain and Abel, the 1st reported brothers in the world ever, yet Cain killed Abel... So why was I surprised if today's families didn't get along. I've come to the conclusion, [maybe wrong] that all families are dysfunctional, and some more so than others. This might sound very depressing and disheartening but it's not the end of the story.

As I alluded to earlier, I believe God places us in families so we can learn to love. Yes, we have to love our family members, even when their behaviour is atrocious!!! We may not like them at the time, but we do have to love them. Its the 2nd great commandment, "Love thy neighbour as thy self" [Matt 22:39]. So where better to start than with our "nearest and dearest"?

I hear some of you say, "they are difficult, hateful, dishonest, malicious, etc", yes I agree, but we do have to love them nevertheless. I know it's not easy, but think, how easy is it for God to love us, when we are difficult, hateful and malicious??? Remember; God loved us even before we loved Him [1st John 4:10-13, 19]. He loved us even when we were all these dreadful things, and true love conquers all. Because as we come to realise, recognise and receive that love from God, we become more loving ourselves and it is then easier to love unlovable people.

I've found that as I try and grow in love, it then becomes easier to forgive, to empathise, to let go of real or imagined wrongs. I begin to pray for and about family members that I have a difficult relationship with. And our God who answers all, sees the desires of my heart and takes away the hurt and lets love grow. An older christian friend of mine once commented that a lot of disunity in families arises because people don't recognise their role in the family. Some are the providers, some are the organisers, some encourage and cheer people up, but all have a valuable role to play. I also think some are the black sheep or mischief makers, they serve to bring the family together in a concerted effort to solve their problems.

So for peaceable relationships don't always expect your family to be your friends, they each have a defined role to play. You're really lucky if you find at least one member of the family who understands and supports you in your journey through life, as for the rest, just love them anyway... I wonder if I'm speaking to someone out there who has a difficult relationship with a family member. I hope you will be encouraged to live a life full of love for all and sundry. Lets continue to grow in love and tolerance so that in a little way, we become as much like our heavenly Father as is humanly possible.

By Christie Nonye Akumabor 25/01/2010

Love conquers all