Christie's Journal: FATHERS & FATHERHOOD...

This article was inspired by a much loved song by Luther Vandross; "Dance With My Father".

Fathers; we love, respect and cherish them. They sometimes confound and exasperate us, but we wouldn't ever be without them, at least I sure wouldn't be without mine.

The English Dictionary defines a father as; 'A male parent of a human being or animal'. I prefer the 2nd definition along; 'A man who brings up and looks after a child as if he were its male parent'. Further definitions include 'Ancestor -founder of a family', 'Founder -a man who establishes, founds, or originates'. There are several more definitions, but for the purposes of this article, I'll stick with the 2nd definition.

Fatherhood; bringing up and looking after a child, a rather onerous task, MAJOR, MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY, but when done well, ah the rewards it brings...! In todays changing world, where the traditional gender roles are in flux, the vital role of "Father", has sometimes gotten lost, downgraded [to donor of sperm], or left, like unclaimed baggage at the lost-property office. This is such a shame, I should know, cos I had and still have a fantastic relationship with my father. As an innocent trusting child growing up, as a young lady finding her place in the world, and now as a mature adult, discussing lifes issues and meanderings with him.

Guys, if you didn't know it already, you are the first hero your children, particularly your daughters will ever have...! You are the first provider, protector, teacher, knight in shining armour, your children will ever know. And you will remain so in their eyes, if the relationship is maintained and nurturted as the good Lord intended. Yes, they will come to know that you can't solve all lifes problems, that you are human and thus fallible. But they should also know that you'll always be there as a listening ear, to offer words of wisdom and support when ever the need may arise. Your principles and beliefs will form the basis on which they will build their own lives. Do you think you have laid a good enough foundation? If you have, I salute you, if you feel you have fallen slightly short, its never ever too late to improve [something we should all take note of].

I state these unchanging truths, because in todays ever so "changing" world, "the baby often gets thrown out with the bath water". Fathers roles are often disdained and overlooked, when sadly some marraiges inevitably break down. With women commanding ever more economic power [and I'm not suggesting we should return to the dark days of womens complete economic dependence], there is often the feeling that men are dispensable in the childrens lives . True, "men" may be dispensable, BUT FATHERS ARE NOT...! A man who is a "parent" has a defined role to play, and should be given every oppurtunity to live up to the task. If he fails, thats his own look out... And he will live to reap the rewards, as he has sown.

So guys, dudes, fathers, we do love, appreciate, honour, celebrate and need you, even if the world increasingly seems to suggest otherwise. And ladies, if you've got a good guy out there, a good father to your kids, do tell him so. Prompt him to pass on some of what he has learned over the years, to younger less experienced dads, as they too struggle to find and define their roles as "good" fathers. Lets not wait only until fathers day, to tell them we love and cherish them. Like us they sometimes have the need to be affirmed, in this increasingly difficult and complex world.

So to all the great fathers I know out there, and to my own father in particular, I say a big thank you, and dad I love you loads...