And I sat down and stared

And I sat down and stared,
Tired! Tired!! Tired!!!
Tired of struggling,
Against the throes of depression.
Tired of trying to climb out,
Out of the deep black pit of despair,
That my affliction had tossed me into...

As I sat down and stared,
I could see no way out!
I had no great hope for the future,
The only small glimmer of hope I had,
Came from knowing I had been down in the pits before,
And with God's help had been able to climb out.
He'd sent friends, relatives, therapists,
And even strangers into the pit for me.

So as I sat down and stared,
God reached to me with words.
Spoken by friends and mentors,
Sometimes just anonymous words,
Through irreverent TV programmes.
The final words that spoke to me,
Came from an unusual source.
Recorded words of a friend's wife,
Whom I'd never met, not once .

So as I sat down and stared,
Forlorn and alone in my pit.
For the longest ever period,
That I'd ever thought to sit.
God reached down inside for me,
Lifting me out with words of hope,
That sprang so sweetly from the heart, Of one so kind, so brave and smart.

She shared so honestly with us,
All her own struggles and her cares,
And how she overcame them,
About her triumphs and her fears.
Hope was then born in me anew,
From whence it came He alone knew.

So as I sat down and stared,
I threw off my old fears.
I stood up and reached out,
And managed a big shout.
Then the world heard my cries,
And some reached down inside.
They said they'd always been just there,
I couldn't hear or see them though,
Cos I'd been deadened by despair.

So as I had sat down and stared,
Unseeing and unprepared.
The Lord was still working on me,
I knew not how, but He had the key.
The key to my freedom,
The chains to unlock.
My mind is free to roam again,
My thoughts no longer blocked.
Hope springs anew in my heart again,
I live, love, sing and engage my brain.

And for this I'm ever so thankful Lord.

By Christie Nonyelum Akumabor © 03/12/17

My mind is no longer clogged and I thank God